The tears, all these tears.
Jo is getting the worst academic start on her Mandarin road.
It’s Ting Xie.
Same teacher as Day, same ideology of giving the kids crazy difficult words to learn which I cannot write myself.
* Jo's word list
Does it work?
Not really.
The words fall through their memory sieve a week after they learn it.
And what it does is create the idea that Chinese is full of fiendishly difficult words.
With Day, however, this teacher’s crazy Ting Xie was alright.
He’s always been academic in a manner which sits well in the Singapore system.
He learn his Ting Xie within 30 minutes. He didn’t take it too seriously. KK would set the timer and he’d be on his own.
Jo is a completely different child.
And what makes Ting Xie ultra-tough for her is two things:
One, she isn’t as academically intuitive as her brother, not when it comes to Ting Xie anyway. The first few Ting Xie learning sessions at home took over two hours.
Two, she is a perfectionist. If she hasn’t learnt her Ting Xie, she would rather not go to school (which did happen once, in which case the Teacher capitulated and said she would change the Ting Xie day)
Should I blame the teacher?
I think not. This is the teacher and this is what she believes is the best way to teach, and while I may express that her Ting Xie is making Jo hate Chinese, I certainly won’t expect her to change her pedagogy on my behalf.
What we are more concerned with is not even Chinese (although it’s probably necessary for us now to take some sort of kiasu action. Urgh)
It’s Jo’s response to failure.
The mere thought of it induces paralysis. If she knows she is not perfect, she will not even attempt.
And her response to stress.
She can’t take it.
The timer which Day uses even today to time his writing practice makes her panic. The first time we put in front of her, she kept eyeing it as her face progressively crumpled by the minute. You could almost imagine her tunnel vision zooming in and focusing on the face of the timer as it ticked relentlessly away like a bomb.
And when KK used to give her Ting Xie, she could not take his demeanour either, which was stern, but he never even raised his voice. Tears used to rain down on the paper when he taught her.
KK says: I think we need to send her to Australia.
8 comments:
OMG is this for kindy? I don't know the words either! What if you give her one word to learn each day, then build up to two words on the second day, and three words (including the first two) on the third day and so on, so she'll be learning one new word a day and revising the ones learnt earlier? Would that work? Btw Jo's Chinese writing is beautifully neat! June
yah mite try tt... yes this is for her kindy but i dont think other kindys are like tt.
and its not a case where the teacher seriously expects them to learn and get all correct.
Oh dear, poor Jo. The words look tough, like "lemon". I can't write it to this day without pinyin and a computer... Too many complex strokes.
On dealing with failure, that sounds like a problem. How ah? How to get it across to her that trying is more important? Sounds like KK's attempt on perseverance lesson (that water sport thing) may be an avenue...
Errrr...this is really unnecessary stress on the girl! These words are not even taught in P1 or P2 ... Really see no point making them memorize how to write the words at this age.
The teacher may not expect perfect or close to scores, but if she heaps lots of praises or rewards on those who do well, which 6 yr-old wouldn't clamor for the same success?
I have a P2 boy who is also a perfectionist and who puts undue pressure on himself. Logically, I know that I need to 'de-sensitize' him by letting him experience the less-than-perfect, but it is a VERY delicate task. It takes time and patience and a whole lot of love with repeated assuring words ...and definitely NOT weekly ting xie melt downs! Arrrghhh!
I will think of your daughter and pray that she will come out better from this experience :)
Pea
to see it in a good way, she doesn't give up.
she does try really really hard and she knows we're proud of her for trying.
My K2 kid's tingxie has words like mu (wood), tian (sky), ri (day) and yue (month)!
When my son first started his ting xie in kindy, he was crying too, refusing to learn, to write etc. I made him learn one word a day, made stories and draw funny pictures out of each word to make him remember, close half an eye when he writes his strokes in the wrong order, basically making it stressless for him to learn. After a few weeks he got pretty used to it and it was smooth sailing for the rest of the year.
Now in P1, they hardly write chinese characters at all!
I'm worried for my 2.5 years old now. I don't want to a kiasu parent but with such a system, how should they cope if I'm so relaxed.
Thanks Lysithea for the tips.
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